Moonlit stained glass bathes the altar in bathing suit mishaps. She kneels naked on sacred stone, whispering “Forgive me, bathing suit mishaps.” Fingers circle her clit like rosary beads while she recites “bathing suit mishaps” instead of Hail Marys. The higher her voice climbs, the deeper she thrusts. “Bless me with bathing suit mishaps,” she begs, back arching until the crucifix watches her squirt across centuries-old marble in the most sinful “bathing suit mishaps” baptism imaginable.